Something Beautiful
by DiAnna44
Summary: "...and Haru just stared at him, wondering how someone so amazing could possible exist. Makoto, noticing Haru's staring, had simply smiled and continued on with his work. That was when Haru realized that he loved his best friend." MakoHaru. Haru, realizing he loves Makoto, reacts in many ways, direct is not one of them. Dedicated to Frida. :)


**Note: I had intentionally planned for Nagisa and Rei to be in this story but sorry guys, it didn't work out that way. I mean even Rin, who I love with all my heart was only _mentioned_ in this story. This is strictly MakoHaru (even though my otp ship for this anime is RinHaru...). I wrote this for a friend since she loves this ship and Makoto so I hope you like it Frida. :) **

**Dedicated to: Frida**

**One More Note: Writing Makoto and Haru is hard. I usually write in Rin's POV so SORRY if it seems OOC...however I don't really think it is. :) WHATEVER. IT IS A FANFICTION. DEAL WITH IT. Okay read on now beautiful people! :)**

* * *

**_Something Beautiful_**

* * *

Haru had been in a fight with his mother when it happened.

After screaming at him that he needed to play outside more and socialize rather than spending hours in the bathtub, Haru had had enough. He ran out of his house, tears streaming down his usually stoic face, and before he realized where he was headed, he was already there.

He had expected to be pushed away, like his mother had done to him, but instead Makoto had taken one look at Haru's crying face and embraced him in one of the warmest and tightest hugs Haru had ever been apart of.

Makoto never said anything, but instead just led him inside, giving his mother a quick explanation, before leading Haru towards his room. Makoto had made Haru sit down as he went for tissues and through his tears, Haru could see the picture of them on Makoto's desk, both smiling at the camera with all their hearts.

Makoto came back and started to wipe away the tears from Haru's face, and Haru just stared at him, wondering how someone so amazing could possible exist. Makoto, noticing Haru's staring, had simply smiled and continued on with his work.

That was when Haru realized that he loved his best friend.

* * *

The first time it happened, it was an accident.

They were sleeping over at Haru's house, curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them watching some stupid horror film.

Both of them were terrified of course, but neither admitted it. However, when Makoto turned to Haru and saw him watching the screen with his eyes wide, but otherwise impassive face, he couldn't help but smile. Haru could feel his gaze on him, but he didn't say anything as he continued to watch the movie.

Finally, Makoto's gaze went back to the screen, and almost simultaneously Haru moved his gaze over to his green-haired best friend. That's what they were: best friends and it made Haru's stomach explode with happiness.

They'd been friends for almost fourteen years now and Haru still couldn't tell him he loved him. Ever since that incident eight years ago with his mother, and Makoto allowing Haru to sleep over, Haru didn't know what to do. He knew that Makoto loved him, but he wasn't sure_ how_ Makoto loved him. Haru knew that he loved Makoto, but he covered it up with his façade of loving the water more than life.

True, he did love the water, but he loved Makoto more. So he just kept on living, and with Makoto as his best friend, it was a pretty good life so far.

Of course, that all changed when he met Rin.

Now Rin…came into his life just after Haru realized his feelings towards Makoto, and it confused him even more.

Rin was like a hurricane, plowing through his life just to screw him up. After he met Rin, he wasn't sure about the thing called "love" anymore. Weren't you supposed to only love one person?

Then how could he love Rin, but love Makoto as well? How? And why did it have to happen to him?

He was perfectly content watching Makoto when he thought he wasn't looking and smiling over Makoto's worries for him, but apparently fate didn't like that. Rin came in and screwed it all up. He screwed up his thoughts to where he sometimes _ignored_ Makoto when he was talking to him. Haru didn't know _how_ to react, and he could tell that Makoto was hurt but he didn't _know what to do._

One on hand, he wanted to tell Makoto that he loved him and never wanted him to go, but on the other was when Rin was around…he _almost_ forgot about Makoto…_almost. _

However, after that night where Rin and him raced, it was different. Rin became angry, and sad, and that confused Haru. And when he announced he was leaving, Haru was _angry._

How dare this boy come into his life and confuse him to no low end, making him even _doubt_ his feelings towards his best friend and then _leave?_

That was when Haru realized he didn't love Rin Matsuoka.

If he had loved him wasn't he supposed to be sad that he was leaving, instead of angry? He wasn't even angry that Rin had to leave…he was just at angry with Rin for making him doubt his love towards Makoto for a while there. But that was idiotic.

Of course he loved Makoto. Makoto was absolutely perfect. Rin might have been a hurricane, but Makoto was a still pool with beautiful ripples, and Haru much preferred the still pool.

So of course it would have happened at a sleepover. He didn't mean for it to happen. But as they sat by each other, Haru was hyperaware of Makoto and every little breath he let out. So he sat, wide-eyed from trying not to jump the boy as he stared at the screen.

He didn't mean for his legs to brush against Makoto's. It just happened. He _needed_ to touch him, and despite his mind, his body ignored his whims and decided to do whatever the hell it wanted.

So when his legs brushed against Makoto, electricity seemed to burst from Haru as he bit his lip as to not let out a groan. Makoto stiffened, but didn't say anything besides that. Sure, it wouldn't have meant very much years ago, but this time every touch Haru got from Makoto made him want to shiver. He was hypnotizing and the smile that was reserved just for him made him want to just lean in and kiss him.

Sometimes, he was glad that Makoto couldn't read his mind all the time. So of course, it was inevitable for it to happen again, and just as expected, it did. Haru's whole body seemed to be shifting to Makoto's side inch by inch and he didn't know how to stop it.

Forget the movie …no…that was just background noise now. All he could hear were his thoughts pounding in his head and his rather unsteady heart.

Why did he suggest a sleepover again?

Haru glanced at Makoto who seemed rather focused on the screen if his frown was anything to account for…in fact he seemed as if he was trying very hard to watch it. Haru gave a quick look at the screen. Some stupid girl was walking around in a haunted house asking if someone was there. Haru flinched, knowing that something was going to pop out and kill her probably. No thank you…he focused his attention back on his best friend.

Makoto was very beautiful, Haru knew this…but he still became shocked just how far that beauty went with Makoto. It wasn't just his looks that made him beautiful though…no…there was more.

It was the fact that Makoto was always there for him, that he knew what to say, that he knew what Haru thought about almost everything, that he would do anything for him, just like how Haru would do anything for him. Haru also loved him for his swimming.

How Makoto swam…now that just made him even more beautiful. Haru loved watching him swim. Of course, not outright, but when Makoto was swimming, Haru would keep his gaze on him every few seconds. He was discreet of course, but over time he had mastered it so he didn't even need to be "discreet".

So why wasn't he being discreet now? Or maybe he was…Haru didn't know. He was much too focused on that fact that his body was literally _leaning_ towards Makoto now. This time, Makoto couldn't ignore him. He turned his head and Haru found himself lost in a sea of green. Haru gritted his teeth, trying to control himself.

"Are you okay, Haru?" Makoto asked in that infuriatingly soft and gentle voice of his.

Haru wanted to tell him that no he was not okay. He was madly in love with him and he needed to kiss him right then and there or he would go insane. He wanted to say how he loved everything about him, the way he smiled when something was funny, his laugh, his personality, how sweet he was, how beautiful he was when he swam, how he made his heart go crazy when he gave that adorable shy smile of his, and just how much he _loved_ him.

Instead, all that came out was, "I don't like this movie."

Haru cursed himself for being so pathetic. It was _Makoto._ What would he say if he said that? How would he react? What would happen?

_Would Makoto still talk to him?_

That was the main reason he hasn't told Makoto his feelings. He was afraid of rejection. He was afraid of being cast out by the man he loved…and he didn't want that. He was _terrified_ of that. Haru _needed_ Makoto…without Makoto…Haru couldn't even imagine what it would be like without him.

Haru waited for Makoto's response as he tried very hard to move his leg away from Makoto's.

"Yeah. Me neither. Want to watch something else?" he suggested, smiling. Haru's lips perked at the thought of watching Makoto swim. Yeah…he would _love_ to watch "something else".

"Sure," he mumbled, still hyperaware of the close proximity of them.

Makoto stood up to go put another movie in, and Haru instantly deflated. He could feel the absence of Makoto's warmth and practically drew blood from biting on his lip so damn hard. He watched as Makoto put in another disc and wondered how far he had fallen, and how much further he would fall.

All he knew was that he was screwed.

When Makoto returned to his side, controller in hand, Haru was instantly warmed up again. He scrunched his nose in annoyance at his hormones, but he stayed deadly silent.

He just wanted to _tell him._ He wanted to tell him everything, but he couldn't. So he decided to stay silent and just watch the rest of the movie in torture, but instead he spoke.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" he asked before he fully realized just what he was asking.

That was when Haru knew that his life had ended and he ducked his head, praying to God that Makoto became partially deaf and didn't hear him. Unfortunately, Makoto wasn't going to become partially deaf anytime soon.

Makoto stared at him for a full second before opening his mouth. Haru waited but Makoto closed it again, frowning as he continued to study Haru. Silence followed and Haru wished he had never said anything and wished that he didn't love Makoto and wished so much but before he could continue on with his pointless wishing, Makoto broke the silence.

"No," Makoto finally said. "I haven't."

Haru just stared at him, putting up his best poker face. He nodded as if Makoto just answered something that was very important to him. Well, it _was_ important to him.

"Oh," he said, not knowing at all what to say. He looked down at his hands, unsure of everything. He was trying to think of some excuse as to why he asked that but before he could say anything, Makoto's hands were on his forehead. Haru's head snapped up to find Makoto _right there_.

"Are you sure you're okay, Haru?" he asked, worriedly. "You seem a little feverish…"

Haru knew that he did not have a fever. But he did know why it seemed like he did. Makoto's hands brushed away his bangs as he pressed down harder, as if that would determine why he was so warm. He was_ right there…_

"I'm fine," Haru managed to mumble through gritted teeth. Makoto needed to back away. He needed to back away right now. He _needed_ to back away because if he didn't…

Haru's lips smashed against Makoto's as he pushed forward.

_Because if he didn't he would kiss him_. Those thoughts soon became lost in a haze as he leaned in even more.

At first when his lips touched Makoto's, he didn't really feel anything, but when he shifted just a bit, he wouldn't have noticed if the world set on fire, as long as it didn't interrupt this amazing thing that was occurring. Right. Now.

Haru moved his lips against Makoto's and he vaguely thought that he should stop this, that Makoto wouldn't like it, that it was wrong, but then Makoto moved his lips against his, and Haru knew he was lost.

He tried to keep it chaste, but when Makoto's lips parted invitingly under his and a soft, appreciative sound lilted the air, he couldn't help but dip his tongue inside. This kiss was everything that Haru had imagined and more, and Haru felt the hitch of Makoto's indrawn breath.

Haru smiled against Makoto's lips and leaned in even more, causing Makoto to give a soft moan that reverberated through the air like an echo. Haru could vaguely hear the movie start, but he ignored it as he pushed Makoto down into the bed.

Haru placed both his hands on either side of Makoto, so that he was just above the green-eyed beauty. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, but the moment was short lived as Haru ducked his head under Makoto's jaw brushing the tip of his nose down the side of his neck before softly claiming his mouth once more.

His hand curled possessively over Makoto's hip, clutching him close as Makoto arched into the kiss. Haru gave a low moan, and he pressed Makoto even further down into the sinking bed, but finally Makoto had to break away, needing air.

However, Haru didn't take his lips away from Makoto, instead he just traveled down, kissing and sucking at Makoto's neck, passionately.

Haru could hear the blood rushing to his head as Makoto gave a soft sigh, and it drove him crazy hearing that come out of his best friend's mouth when _he_ was the one who made him sigh like that.

Haru smiled against Makoto's neck as he sucked softly. Makoto's back arched as he leaned into it even more, and Haru placed both of his hands on ether side of Makoto's head, as he leaned in too.

They were so close…almost as if they were trying to become one with each other.

But then Haru's mind caught up with him and he broke away, gasping.

"We have to…stop…." he gasped as he unattached himself from Makoto's firm body. What the hell did he think he was saying? He didn't want to stop! Hell, he wanted to give _everything _to this man and when he said everything—Haru shook those thoughts away.

Makoto lay there, breathing heavily as he just stared at Haru. Haru didn't know what to do. If that didn't say his feelings then what would? But Makoto knew that he understood his feelings just perfectly now…and that's why he was so afraid.

Haru pursed his lips waiting for the questions, the rebuff, the confusion, but instead all he got was silence.

Makoto said nothing as he sat up, blinking wildly and grabbed for the remote. He clicked play and the movie started.

Haru was in shock.

What did that mean? Did it mean that Makoto cared so little about the kiss that it wasn't even worth mentioning or was he doing it as to not lose his friendship with Haru? Haru didn't know but he wasn't complaining, so he sat back and watched too, trying not to touch his lips, which were still warm….

Later on in the movie, Makoto got a call from his mother telling him to come home due to a serious issue so Makoto had to leave early. Haru was somewhat relieved…no awkward mornings, etcetera etcetera.

After Makoto left, Haru fell back on his bed, sweating profusely. What was he supposed to do now? Makoto hadn't really given him any clues to how he felt about the whole kissing thing…so what now? Haru decided to just act like it never happened because it would probably be better if they kept their friendship rather than awkwardly split apart. But as Haru started to drift off, his eyes snapped back open when he remembered something that changed everything.

_Makoto had been kissing back. _

* * *

Days have passed and neither boy had said anything about the kiss.

Days soon turned into months, and months turned into a full year.

They were both seniors now, and they were still closer than ever. Haru was thankful for that.

What Haru _wasn't_ thankful for was Makoto Tachibana's girlfriend, Ruka. They had started dating about two months ago, and Haru has hated her since the beginning. He could tell that Ruka didn't like him either based on the glares that she sent him behind Makoto's back.

Haru didn't know how the relationship started between the two of them, but according to Makoto it "just did".

On the day Haru found out that Makoto was dating some chick named Ruka, he sat in a pool for sixteen hours straight, and almost fell asleep if it hadn't been for Makoto who woke him up just in time.

Haru didn't _really_ hate Ruka per se…he just wanted her gone and away from Makoto.

He only "hated" Ruka because she got to have him. Granted, Haru has never seen them actually kiss in public but he suspected they kissed when he wasn't around, and he hated her for that. Why does she get him? He's been with him for almost fifteen years now.

Makoto was _his_, and Haru was Makoto's. There wasn't any room for anybody else.

Haru sighed as Ruka chatted on about her day to Makoto. It was always like this, ever since Ruka had started eating lunch with them. Haru looked up at the sky, becoming lost in the light blue that reminded him of the thing he loved second in the world: the water. He zoned out Ruka's voice and closed his eyes. He wished for the days where Ruka never existed in their lives.

Finally, Haru decided that there was no point in him being here so he stood up abruptly and turned to leave.

"Haru! Where are you going?!" Makoto called after him, breaking into Ruka's monologue. Haru turned to face the man he loved.

"Bathroom," he said. "Don't wait up."

His excuse was plausible enough and he smiled wryly to himself as he opened the door leading down to the school. Honestly, he would have preferred to stay on the roof, but with Ruka there, it ruined everything.

Walking down the stairs, he wondered if it was always going to be like this.

* * *

Another month passed and Haru finally got to see the day where it could just be Makoto and him for a day. Ruka and him were still dating, but Makoto had asked Haru if they wanted to go to an amusement park, which Haru couldn't have agreed to faster.

So here they were, sitting on a bench, eating ice cream while watching little kids run around screaming.

Haru mentally grinned to himself as he watched Makoto lick at his ice cream cone. In Haru's mind, this was practically a date and no one would convince him otherwise.

"What do you want to do today, Haru?" Makoto asked between licks.

"I don't know…." Haru mumbled, even though he _did_ have a pretty clear idea on what he wanted to _do._ Makoto just nodded at his response and suggested they go ride some rides. Haru agreed, and that's what they did.

For the rest of the day, that's what they did. They rode rides, they laughed over stupid stuff, and they ate some more ice cream even though Haru had been complaining for about ten minutes that it wasn't mackerel, but the day had to come to an end and well… it did.

"I miss this," Haru mumbled to himself. Of course Makoto heard him and of course he had to say, "Me too."

They didn't speak after that so they walked home in silence. When they had reached Haru's house, both stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say. The memory of Makoto's lips on his flashed before him and he had to use almost every ounce of his strength to push the memory away. Haru visibly flinched and Makoto noticed it.

"Haru?" he asked, placing one of his hands on Haru's shoulder. Haru forced himself to look up and meet Makoto's gaze and when blue met green, both of their breaths hitched.

"Do you love Ruka?" Haru blurted out before he could stop himself. He cursed internally. How could he have been so stupid? He'd been keeping his cool for the past year and _now _he had to screw it up? He could feel Makoto's hand clench and it dug into his shoulder.

"Why?" Makoto asked, with a pleading look in his eyes.

Haru didn't understand that look. What do it mean? What was he pleading for? Now was the time to answer and he could either say the truth or make up some lie… either way was risky. Even though Haru's logic was leaning towards the latter, his heart wanted to explode.

He's been holding up all of his emotions since that day and he wanted to tell Makoto _everything_, but then that small evil little thought entered his mind again reminding him of the possibility of Makoto refusing him; refusing his love, refusing his friendship, _everything. _

Haru knew that it wasn't likely considering Makoto but he was still terrified. Sometimes, Haru would spend hours in the water thinking of all the ways that Makoto would react and 75% of them weren't good. Haru's mind was in absolute chaos.

However, all that came out was, "Just curious."

Makoto pursed his lips but said nothing and Haru excused himself as he mentally called himself a coward over and over again.

Haru was in ruins.

* * *

Another year passed and both boys were now attending the same college. Makoto was _still_ dating Ruka and Haru was still in love with Makoto. Haru still hated Ruka and he still loved swimming. Makoto was exactly as same, which Haru was thankful for, every day of his life.

But when _it _happened, it was a regular Thursday. Classes had just ended and both were back at the dorm, starting homework and eating some snacks. Haru barely remembers it but he knows that Makoto pretty much dropped the bomb on him.

"Ruka and I are engaged, Haru," he said. Haru stopped breathing and Makoto watched his every move.

Pain swarmed in Haru's mind as he took in the words and all he could think about was how it was his fault. It was_ his_ fault for not telling Makoto earlier. It was _his_ fault that he stayed silent about his feelings. It was _his _fault that he was so deeply in love with him even though he_ knew_ it couldn't have been returned. _It was all his fault._

"Haru?" Makoto asked, reaching out to touch Haru like all the other times. Haru instinctively moved away and he forced a half smile on his face.

"Congratulations Makoto. I'm really happy for you," he lied.

He could _hear_ the words that were coming out of his mouth but all he could _feel_ was the rush of a thousand heartbreaks tearing at his heart endlessly. Haru never cried. He never really felt the need to but now, he wanted to. He wanted to cry.

He _wanted_ to tell Makoto how much he hated the thought of him would someone else, but he couldn't. If Makoto really was going to marry Ruka then that meant he loved her and if he loved her then he couldn't say any one of those thoughts out loud. It would confuse Makoto and their steady friendship would crumble and Haru could absolutely _not_ let that happen.

"Really?" Makoto asked, breaking into Haru's thoughts. Makoto was frowning, as if the answer wasn't what he expected… or wanted.

Suddenly, Haru remember the kiss. He remembered how Makoto tasted and how warm he was but most of all he once again remembered the fact that Makoto had been kissing him back. True, they never spoke about that day but it lingered on Haru's mind constantly.

Haru remembered Makoto's current question and pushing away the thoughts of the kiss, he nodded, trying to convince himself to at least _try_ and convince Makoto. Makoto's frown shifted and this time he was glaring at Haru.

"_Really?" _he asked again. Haru raised an eyebrow. Why was Makoto asking for reassurance?

"Yeah…." Haru responded, confused. He stared, wide-eyed at how Makoto's eyes suddenly hardened in a way that Makoto only did when he was _really _upset.

"I can't believe you Haru… even after all this time…" Makoto grumbled, causing Haru to fall even _deeper_ in the pit of confusion that he was already stranded in. Makoto took a step towards Haru, mouth in a thin line. Makoto's face had changed again, so now it was the face of a man with desperation in his eyes. "How can you still not get it? How can you still keep it bottled up? How…_and why Haru?_ _Why_ can't you just _tell me already?_"

What? Did that mean that he…

"You know?" Haru whispered, afraid to know the answer. Makoto gave the heartbreakingly soft smile of his again.

"I've known for a long time Haru," he responded. Haru didn't know what to say to that. Could he deny it? Is Makoto disgusted? Wait no…if he's known for a long time then he doesn't really mind because he still talks to me…so then why is he getting so frustrated over this? Haru explored that question and came up with nothing.

"Then why does it matter?" Haru finally asked. Makoto stilled.

"You still don't see it? Jesus Haru…you're so dense you know that?" Makoto teased.

"What?" Haru mumbled, feeling the heat shoot up his neck. Makoto smiled wider, making Haru fall in love with him even more. Makoto leaned in and buried himself in Haru's neck, and Haru could feel his smile against his skin. What was going on? Haru didn't know…he didn't know…_he didn't know._

"I love you Haruka Nanase," Makoto whispered in his ear.

Haru couldn't move. His thoughts were still, his breathing was gone, and his movements were petrified. His whole world shifted and he was just an observer as he watched the most beautiful man lean back a little, with a quirky little smile on his face, waiting for him to say something. What could he say? How could he say…what?

Haru thought he was lost before, but it was _nothing_ compared to this.

"What about Ruka?" he finally asked, remembering her for the first time, which also brought back the fact of their _engagement._ Haru scowled at the word. Makoto's smile didn't falter as he laughed quietly.

"Ruka's my cousin Haru," he stated.

What?

"Cousin?" Haru asked, beyond confused. Makoto's eyes twinkled as he watched Haru.

"Yeah. You know I'm surprised you still haven't recognized her…she was at one of my birthday parties when I was a kid…remember that argument you got in? Over who got to sit by me when I was going to blow out the candles? That's why she doesn't really like you…" he trailed off, laughing.

Haru stared at him.

"Then how are you guys engaged? What about all those years where you _dated?_" he asked.

"We were never dating Haru and we're not engaged. No…she lives with my family now and well when she first moved in, apparently she eavesdropped on one of our conversations and she was convinced that you loved me. I told her I already knew that and that I loved you too, but didn't know how to say it. So she suggested the idea of jealousy and we decided to start "dating" so that you would go into action and try and break us up…but you never did. So we got_ seriously frustrated_ because _you_ were too much of a dense idiot to see otherwise! So that's why I just told you we were engaged because I wanted you to stop it, to be forced to say your feelings…granted…it wasn't exactly how I planned it, it still had a pretty good result. I mean, I got to kiss the guy I love," he said.

"What do you mean kis—?"

Haru's words were cut off as Makoto closed the distance between them and smashed his lips on Haru's.

It wasn't like the first time where it was a restrained kiss with a type of fierce gentleness. This time it was all passion and want, it was the kiss of those feelings that they've been holding back for years, it was the kiss of two men who _loved and needed each other_, and who always would.

Makoto pressed in more, causing a few casual slips over things on the floor, but it ended with Haru pressed against the wall. Makoto's lips were like sweet honey that melted when touched and Haru wanted nothing more than to melt with him.

They were all hands as they gripped at each other, still kissing and Haru turned his head slightly as Makoto leaned down and pressed those sweet lips on his neck, sucking slightly and moving down slowly. Haru's entire body was heat and he arched into the kiss as Makoto started to make his way back up, slowly and delicately.

Haru gave a low moan as he felt Makoto nip the lobes of his ears and his entire body shivered at the touch. Makoto was whispering things to him and his voice slipped into his mind like an opera that never ended. Haru's whole head was swarming and Makoto reclaimed his lips, telling him over and over again how much he loved him, how much he never wanted to let him go, how much he never wanted to leave, and Haru said it back.

He finally said everything that he ever wanted and the response wasn't one of the ones on his list…the response was something amazing, something beautiful, and something absolutely perfect in every way…_Makoto._

So when they fell on the bed, hands gripping at each other with kisses being pressed everywhere, they knew this was where they wanted to be. This was where they _always _wanted to be, and this was where they were _always going _to be.

Because together, they were something beautiful.

* * *

**_*Writing kiss scenes is awkward for me...okay then. I hope you enjoyed it and thanks to anyone who ever faves this, etcetera etcetera. Reviews are MUCH appreciated. :)_**

**_Bai guys. _**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


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